A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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giddy goat

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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