Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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