- Anti Joke

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! present <<< Yes this is my constant presence.

Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo. Cow says moo.

My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

69

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops