whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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My penis is big... not.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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