If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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How old is your mom Dead

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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