Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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You suck big fat slobber

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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