The MLS

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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