"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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42, that is all

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Refrigerator

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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3.14159365358979323846264

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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