A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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PEANIS!

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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