What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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