A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Justin Bieber

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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jcjdj

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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Hillary Clinton

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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