- Anti Joke

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

69

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

Where was I born? Pakistan. You?