what do u call a apple a apple

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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i have a christmas tree.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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