What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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