How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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This is a random Anti joke.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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Im black

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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