What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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Refrigerator

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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The NBA and womens sports

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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Muslim athletes.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops