whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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Women's rights

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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