Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

Knock knock What?

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

THE END.

Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5