What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

Jerry.

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

What is full of water and drowning people A pool

Im black

What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

This is Heading 1

What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

THE END.

Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio