Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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Jerry.

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Im black

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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