A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Womens' sports

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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The WNBA

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops