Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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BIG PENIS

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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