Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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