An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

thumb_up thumb_down -2

2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

canadians

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

William wright is Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -2

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am a joke. I am funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops