Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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Jews

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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your mom

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops