why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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