The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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A man killed himself.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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