Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops