What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

British Dentistry

The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

What rhymes with milk...milf

What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

What made the lady dance? Bandz!

The NBA and womens sports

Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

What can make you pee? Liquid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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