Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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42, that is all

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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It says so on your cap.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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Whats worse than Holocaust Anti-Jokes? Oh, a lot of things, actually. Personally, I find them hilarious.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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