Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

What's white and gluey Glue

Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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