Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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UP

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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