"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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ur mum

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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Jews

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops