Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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women's rights

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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