How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

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JUST KIDDING^

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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