A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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