I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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