What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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Muslim athletes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops