What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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I like your hair

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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