Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What s the difference between a pigeon ?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

sdfrgtyuki

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops