Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Im black

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ugvvvvvv

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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