Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Penis-biter

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops