Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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so... how about that airplane food

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Gay Rights

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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