- Anti Joke

A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

42

Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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