One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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fduck

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops