Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Bannana man do do do do do ect.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

george goodburn is secretly mexican

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

roses are red violets should be purple

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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