What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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