How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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