Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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