Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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