Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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