How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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