i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

its snowing on mount fuji

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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