Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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I would rape her

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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