- Anti Joke

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

A girl gets raped -teagan d

What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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